Weekly Rewind: April 17

Oops, so it looks like even though I just got started on these Weekly Rewinds, I’ve already slipped and missed a week, but with good reason! I finally closed on my house last week and basically since then, it’s been a whirlwind of moving, cleaning, googling, and buying, buying, buying. It’s been hard to even catch my breath, but in between all the moments of frenzy, I’ve really been trying to take stock of what’s happened and appreciate that I’m a homeowner now!! Though those moments have been extremely few and far between and I don't even know if I’ve truly taken a single one.

I feel like this process, though stressful, is supposed to be more enjoyable. But all I’m doing is stressing, and it hasn’t been all that fun. I’m in somewhat of an odd place because having this new place and being able to spend time in it, I want to have things I like. I want the nice couch, I want the pretty shades, I want the cute chairs. But I’m conflicted because if this place is supposed to be meant for others to use, I’m “not supposed” to buy the things I like so that it won’t hurt so much if/when someone ruins it. But in looking for the cheap stuff they don’t make me happy, or at the very least not sad. Sometimes things will align and that’ll be great, but for the big-ticket items that will really have an impact here (like the couch, the chairs, etc.) I just want something nice so that I can enjoy it too. But then there’s the problem of me not actually know what I want to begin with. I have so little faith in my ability to make this place a cute and enjoyable place to be in. I don't know how to match things, or how to deliberately contrast them. I don’t know what colors work well together or what orientation/design to hang things on the wall. Even if I let myself get whatever I want...what do I want? It’s so hard to make a decision without asking just about everyone I know what they think first. And I’m constantly worried that the things I buy won’t fit in the space like I thought they would, or it won’t be as useful as I thought it would be. Then having to return things is a whole other headache that I’ve been dealing with pretty nonstop this week, which hasn’t helped matters.

I don’t think I’ve been able to focus at all on anything including this blog, my side project, trading, my Instagram. And on top of that, because there’s so much to think about for the house, I’ve been so overwhelmed I can’t even concentrate on one thing at a time.

So in general, that’s pretty much how I feel right now: overwhelmed.

Objectively speaking, I do think I got a decent amount done in getting the house set up to be comfortably lived in, but it still feels like I’ve got so much left to do. All I hope for right now is that when I’m finished, it’ll be a nice place to be in that hopefully my family and friends will enjoy, and then guests when I’m ready to let it go (which likely won’t be for a while).